Stuff

I wrote this story, based on this picture.


5:45 PM 10/4/2009 3 Tanked Tigers Talk About 'Life'

'It's hot. Damn hot. Like a jungle round here, bleecch tooey' said Norm.
Sue rolled one big tiger-eye my way and remarked 'It's Malaysia- it's Monsoon Season- like duhhh, no big shocking news there I guess.' She casually flicked her tail just right, causing one drop of tepid water to bullseye into Norm's left ear.
Ever helpful, I mentioned that it was only 112 degrees with a 100% humidity index... hardly even mid-summer yet.

"This water is piss-warm, it's got algae, and I think there's a leech under my balls, or maybe a splinter.' Norm heaved himself to his feet and turned around to check. 'yep, a leech. Pretty tasty tho..' he said as he carefully pried it off with his claw and popped it in his mouth.
He let his entire 700 lb body crash back into the water, swamping both Sue & I up over our whiskers.

'Watch it Big Guy! Magz was yawning and you just about drowned her!' Sue growled.
I spat out the mouthful of stagnant water with a polite cough, and quickly changed the subject.
'Hey, how bout our Cubs? Anybody seen em lately?' I asked
We all 3 sat and pondered this for awhile.

'Ya know?' Sue spoke up 'I'm pretty sure that that pair of Tall Meats from that place on the other side of the world called
Tiger Country Safari took them! I remember the kids being all excited about breaking into show business! Or maybe it was those other Meats; the ZigGreed & Boy pair they went with.. I don't quite remember. I remember they were sure stoked tho.'

I snapped a tse-tse fly off my lip and turned to Norm. 'Didn't you used to work with ZigGreed & Boy, Norm? I thought I've heard you mention those Meats before, back from before you got here.'
Norm opened both eyes for a second, and grinned. 'Oh Boy! Oh boy I remember Boy, that was a VERY tasty Meat! Flamer broiled or not; he was a sweet piece. Too bad that Ziggy grabbed my tail & twisted my nuts.. I never got more then a few bites.'

Sue and I looked at him in shock, for neither of us had ever been Meat eaters. Having been born & raised here in Malaysia's famous Strawberry Preserve had kept us safe, but somewhat limited in our diets. Aside from a few bugs, a little grass, a bit of Jungle weed, we'd mostly grown up eating Purina Tiger Chow and the occasional can of Lean Mean Big Cat Cusine.
'Soooo...? What's Meat taste like anyways? I asked

'Like really underdone pork chops,' Norm said while licking his own. 'Whaa.. you thought I was gonna say Chicken? You gals wouldn't recognize that kind of foul fowl if it pecked you right on the nipples- you don't have any of those birds round here.'

'Birds. Burrrds... I like to watch birds' Sue mused. ' I even caught one once when I was a kitten! Seems that it was mostly feathers tho- not much taste to it...'
As always, helpfully, I remembered some of what I'd overheard on some Nature Channel program that our Keeper-Meats watched now and then and added my 2 cents worth:
'It's said.. that each and every member of the Bird family is edible. Some are tastier than others of course, but I've at least smelled the Chicken birds fried up in some of our visitor's picnics, and it smelled gooooood!'

We all thought about birds for awhile, and I wiped a bit of drool off my lip.

'Hey: Aren't we actually supposed to be hunters or predators?'
Suddenly I was almost mad, or at least involved in a reckless train of thought. 'Norm? Sue? Have either of you ever actually killed anything?
Y'know.. ripped raw flesh, tasted blood? Stalked, attacked, wrestled, clawed or bit anything to death? Aren't we supposed to be the Scourges of the Jungle- Fearsome Fierce Creatures?'
Agitated, I stood up on all fours and did my best to ruffle my neck hairs and growl a little.

'Ahh, Jeez, there she goes again- off on some sort of Fantasy tangent. You been chewing on those whacky Jungle weeds again Magz? Chill Hon, you're a Protected Species yanno' Norm said.
Sue purred in my general direction 'I Hear ya Sis.. I had that sort of grisly dream myself once; couldn't sleep again for a week. It was all full of offal- slimy guts and icky stuff like that.
Sit down Maggzy.. and I'll comb your neck hairs back smooth for ya.'

I lashed my tail once and farted a thin, dry, kibble fart before I sat down again. Sue wiped the splashback from my tail off her eyebrows but kept up her soothing purr.
Norm either looked very smug, or had zoned out of the conversation entirely.
Maybe he was making up a killy kind of Death Song, it's hard to tell what he's thinking sometimes.
We all breathed for awhile and time passed.

"So, do you suppose there's something else, something better, somewhere else but here?
'Maybe.
Probably.
Somewhere.'

Do you want to talk about it?
Nahhh... it's hot. Like a Jungle out here. Besides.. I got to take a shit. I forgot to after breakfast.
Oh wow; breakfast was a long time ago, huh. Is it suppertime yet?
Almost... it must be close, huh.

What do ya think we're getting for dinner tonite?

I hope it's Tiger Chow.. I love that stuff.
Me too.
Me too.